Pati

So here I am…again.  So earlier this year I was able to lose weight but then I fell off the wagon again and all the weight came back.  I told myself it’s ok, my husband accepts me for who I am, I feel good about myself and I have a wonerful family and great friends…life is good.  But then the day came that I knew would come eventually, my son (whose is 4) asked me why my stomach was so big and why was I fat?  So my first reaction was anger, I got angry and scolded/yelled at him on how he could say something so hurtful and that I was so hurt and disappointed with him that he would say something so awful to his momma and then he started to cry.  Then the next wave of emotions set in shame and guilt.  How could I get mad at my son who 1. Does not know any better and 2. I was the one who let the weight creep up on me.  I felt so horrible and then I was embaressed.  My husband to tried to make me feel better but I refused to let him, it was my fault and I needed to feel that shame.  Eventually the feeling of shame started to go away and I told myself that feeling bad about myself doesn’t help anything and that the only way it was going to change is if I did something about.  Then the second blow came when I went for my annual physical.  I passed everything with flying colors except for my cholesterol, it was boderline high and my doctor recommend I change my diet and start exercising more to work on lowering my cholesterol.  The shame came back once again and instead of working on my diet all I could think of was I can no longer eat all the things I love.  Is that crazy or what!!!!  A few weeks passed and I ate to my hearts content not even thinking about what happened with my son or what the doctor said.  My clothes started to get tighter and tighter but I still was not ready.  Then one day a few weeks ago for whatever reason I finally decided enough is enough it was time…again!  So I told my husband and he joined me and we worked out a menu, a workout schedule and I joined in on the Heartbreakers weight loss challenge. 

It’s been three weeks now and I had a setback last week but I have not given up.  Just knowing that there are others who are or have been in my position make me feel better.  I enjoy being able to read what everyone has to say and it is such a great help to me so to everyone I say thank you.

Good Morning!  Ok, so it came time for my WW meeting and I was so excited because I had such a great week.  We even went out to dinner and though I was very tempted to give in and order something really fattening, fried and gooey, in others something good, but I didn’t and instead ordered something well within in my points range and felt very proud of myself for not giving in.  That said back to my meeting so I anxiously step on the scale excited to see my great progress and then there it was a great big whopping .7 lbs loss, not even a whole pound!  I kept smiling as the nice woman weighing me was telling me how great I did and I all I kept thinking was “that’s it???  So I stepped off the scale and sat down and then overheard another woman complain about how she only lost a pound.  That got me thinking, all of us are so focused on that number on the scale but tend to forget about how we feel. 

 At that moment I decided I need to work on being grateful for the small stuff, even if it’s only a .7 lb loss.  After hearing the other woman complain I realized that if I don’t try to change my thought process I’m never going to be happy with the small stuff and I’m not going to succeed at losing the weight (as I have done so many times before).  So I left my meeting telling myself “be grateful” and decided to start working on myself.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, it’s definitely a work in progress but for my own sanity I need to try.

Wish me luck!!  And have a great day!

Hi All!

I just wanted to wish everyone a good day.  It’s an absolute beautiful day today, the sun is out and it’s a warm day and the best part is that it motivated me to move.  I put on my workout clothes and worked out and I’m feeling pretty good.  I hope everyone else has something that gets them going and makes them feel good too, remember we all deserve it!!!

I just had to share that I lost my first four pounds (actually 4.6 to be exact), I’m on my way!  I was so excited to go weigh in because I knew that I worked hard this past week.  I look forward to next week, wish me luck!

So it’s been months since I worked out and I finally did it!  I was so excited to get through the whole DVD and that I finally did it that I was motivated to get things done around the house.  I’m slowly starting to get back in the swing of things and it feels good.  Hope everyone else is having a good day too!

I have never blogged anything before but I always read about how so many people have success by putting their thoughts and feelings out there so I figured why not try it.  I have tried to lose weight so many times that I don’t even remember how old I was the first time I tried.  I have tried so many different diets out there and I usually lose about 10 lbs and then the problems begin.  I figure I’ve lost 10 lbs now so I can losen up and not be so devoted but that is where my problem lies because then I figure that I was able to get this far that if I indulge a little I can just work it off but I usually don’t.  I have friends and family that are supportive of me but I’ve done this “diet” thing so many times that I don’t think that they believe me anymore.  So I figured that if I put it out there for all to see and read I can gain support from others that are going through what I am going through and make some new friends along the way.  I am currently on Weight Watchers (and basically have been for as long as I can remember) and I just went back this past Tuesday since once again I have gained 4 lbs back after losing 8.  I will be turning 40 in July and celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary this September so I would like to look better than I did when I was 30!  Wish me luck!